March 16th, 2012
I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I was last on here.
There's a lot that's happened since I last posted (nearly two years ago!). We added four babies to the family. Kitty babies. Adorable, smart, and HUGE kitties: John, Paul, George, and Ringo. We sadly lost Lance and Molly last year, almost a week apart. That was very hard. Den took Lance's death the worst. I actually had a dream about Lance last night...
My mother also passed in November. She was living with Aunt Di and Uncle Norman. I spent a lot of time there watching her while Aunt Di was at work. She and Uncle Norman are both retired now. Aunt Irene had surgery after being diagnosed with breast cancer. It's kind of been one thing after another.
Den and I are still together, though we've had a few bumps in our road. One big one was finding out we were 2 months pregnant in February (totally unplanned, totally unexpected; I went to the ER for pains, thinking it was a cyst or something...boy, was it something!), but we sadly lost it a couple of weeks later. That's still all a crazy, surreal blur.
So here I am. I'm still in Bessemer, still "fluffy", still goofy...haha
How have things been with you?
May 25th, 2010
What's In My Ears?: Sorry by Daniel Bedingfield
I was just listening to some Daniel Bedingfield and I almost forgot about the song Sorry on Second First Impression. It's a song he wrote to his sister, Natasha, about how sorry he was for how he treated her because of his ADD. Now, Daniel's story was the reason I started to look into ADD/ADHD and how I eventually was diagnosed. I was adding the lyrics into iTunes and I listened to it to make sure I had everything right and I almost started to cry. I guess I haven't thought of all the pain I used to feel...hell, that I still DO feel. I got so used to people turning on me and friendships and relationships disappearing after a few months. That's one reason why I have very few close friends. I also know I did a lot to hurt people, whether intentionally or not. It was (OK, still is, at times) easier for me to get them before they got me, to step away from things before I got hurt again.
I'm becoming more aware of my ADHD lately. Maybe it's because of all of the things going on around me lately. I don't really know, to be honest. I can't ask for a higher dose because I'm on it already: 100mg/day. It starts to feel a bit frustrating.
OK, I need to go to bed. My head is swarming with thoughts now. I have an interview for T-Mobile in the morning...well, in 7 hours now. So much for getting a full, good night's sleep. *sigh*
February 20th, 2010
How Do I Feel?:
Well, from MySpace, anyway. I decided that there was no point in keeping it so I deleted it today. I'm on Facebook and Twitter way more than I've ever been on MySpace. I've been neglecting this spot quite a bit as well...
Lance is having a dream next to me. He's twitching up a storm. It always makes me wonder what's going on in that kitty brain of his when he does that.
I've decided to go through all of my books. I'm going to reread them all, one by one, and either keep or get rid of them thereafter. I love my books, but having loads of them and not really enjoying them all seems a right waste of space. My cousin brought PaperBackSwap
to my attention and I put some manga I had on it. I'm going to put other paperbacks there once I'm through with them. If anyone know a comic book swap site, I could use that, too, although the ones I want to get rid of are kind of shit. I'd keep them if they weren't. I might have to go to Half Price Books or something for the other books.
My mum stopped over yesterday. She said that she's going to move in with my Aunt Di. FINALLY! I don't know what made her finally decide it, and I almost don't care (but still kind of do), I'm just glad she did. It's going to be so much better for everyone. She'll be in a place with other people, she'll have a nurse around (my aunt), and she'll be closer to everyone. Den and I are going to help her pack up and move things. I offered our garage attic as storage if she needs it. I mean, this is still technically her house and all. She seems to finally be coming to terms with her Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP
). It's been so hard on her. She's falling a lot and can't look down anymore. Her sight just isn't there. He speech is slow and slurred at times. It's just going keep on taking a toll on everyday activities. I feel much better to have her 5 minutes away instead of 40 minutes. And I know my Aunt Di is going to keep a good eye on her. It's a little bit of a weight off of my shoulders right now.
Well, I need to get some things done around the house. Blah. Why do I have to be an adult and junk?
February 6th, 2010
... @ 09:36 am
HOLY FUCKING SNOW.
That is all.
September 22nd, 2009
I find that I've been saying that a lot lately...
I went to the doctor today and found out that I have degenerative arthritis (osteoarthritis) in my lower back. Whoopie. Fantastic. Let's add another thing to my list of problems. F. M. L.
September 15th, 2009
I went with my mum to her doctor's appointment this afternoon. He said that what she has is a form of atypical Parkinson's called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, a rare degenerative disease involving the gradual deterioration and death of selected areas of the brain. Things are getting a little worse for her and I'm feeling pretty stuck because I don't know what to do for her sometimes. She's falling a lot. She's having trouble seeing, swallowing, talking, moving... I just don't know what to do.
August 21st, 2009
Den and I went to a job fair yesterday, but it was a total joke. We decided to go to the Warhol after and I was so happy that we did. I've always had a fascination with Andy Warhol. I can't quite explain it, but I'm just drawn to him and his world. I would have loved to be in the Factory.
After the museum, I navigated him over to the Strip District to Primanti Bros. He's never been and has been wanting to go since we saw it on Man vs. Food. We took a stroll over to Lotus Foods on Penn to look for coconut water, but they didn't have any. I did manage to snag some great Hello Kitty candies and Den purchased a 12 pack of ivory chopsticks. Oh, and some Japanese orange POP soda. So good...
(Check out pictures of my Hello Kitty goodies here
We went to the East Side Co-Op after that and got the coconut water as well as some leeks and Yerba Mate iced tea to try it out. It was really quite good. We want to get some of it and a couple of gourds so we can have it the real way. We saw it on a GlobeTrekker episode where they were in Argentina.
So today I had an interview in Niles, OH, for an embroidering company then did some grocery shopping with my mum. I have another interview at a company in Wampum, PA, for an office assistant position. Let's see what happens.
But tomorrow, oh tomorrow! We're going to Kennywood and I could not be more excited! We're going with Den's family. I don't know if I'll sleep tonight. I have problems sleeping when I know I get to ride roller coasters the next day!
August 3rd, 2009
Allow me to introduce you to Hayden Lea. Ain't she cute?
And another one, just because I love how photogenic she is:
She's now 10 weeks old and weights just about 2 lbs. Teeny-tiny. She's so hyper and all over the place...especially at night. The other four get along so well with her. Ellie is still playing Little Mama to her:
I'm going to go through more pics and add them to my Facebook
throughout the week.
August 2nd, 2009
I feel like I made a huge mistake going to school for Web. I should have gone for something else...journalism, drama, psychology... I can't find a job AT ALL in web. Nothing. I feel now like that was all a waste of time and money. Even just having a degree isn't helping me at all. I was so proud of myself and now I feel like a total idiot.
I was thinking the other day about maybe going for something else. Maybe I could try to do something in social services. I wonder if I can get into something like that easily. I might have to look into it more...
I just want to have a good job and have it be something I'm proud to say I do, you know?
Now I've got a headache. I went to dinner for my friend Marisa's birthday at this great local Italian place called SiBA Cucina. So good. But I hated the drive back home. Bessemer is so depressing anymore. I want to live somewhere better...
July 31st, 2009
1. How often do you clean your home?
Den and I have chores that we split and swap each week, so the house gets a clean-up each week. It usually doesn't take too long to get everything done.
2. What domestic chore do you hate?
Cleaning the litter. But if they were actual kids, it would be like changing their diapers. *shrug*
3. What domestic chore do you enjoy?
Dusting isn't too bad, or laundry.
4. Do you own a washing machine or go to the laundrette?
I own a washer and dryer.
5. Do you iron underpants and/or bed sheets?
Hahaha...nope, never. Do people REALLY do that? I mean, besides Martha Stewart.
I haven't posted in a bit so I figured I might as well.
Nothing much has changed. Den and I are both still job-hunting. Blah. I think he's feeling depressed. My therapist even offered to have him come in any time he wanted to and she could talk to him, but he doesn't seem to want to take up the offer. I really wish that he would. I think he'd feel better if he did. But that's his decision, not mine, to make.
I FINALLY got my guest room/art room/exercise room/cat's room cleaned up and in order today. Go me! But now my back is sore again. I wish I knew what was wrong. I have x-rays done on July 10th and called my doctor THREE TIMES in a week to find out the results and no one has had the courtesy to call me. Nice. Really nice. I've been dealing with back pain since April. It's been off and on, but more than not it's been on lately. Ugh.
We have a new kitten. She's got Siamese markings and white "gloves". We named her Hayden Lea and she is a total character. She cracks us up constantly. And Ellie took to her so quickly. She's a Little Mama to her, bathing her and everything. It's so cute.
Okay...I've been going since 7.00a and I need a shower and my bed NOW. Later, gators.